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Archive for February 2011

Yu-gi-oh! Amazing Cards 014: Sharply Dropping Price

By : Luis Zena
So here we have a green dude getting a blow job. Really, if you look at this green dude you can't think anything else. I mean why does have have that face and that expression unless something hit him in his green balls I don't see what else it could be. As usual this wonderful card comes with text that must be deciphered to be understood. Why don't you give it a shot?



Monster Ball Go! Azurill-Marill-Azumarill

By : Luis Zena

Here we have the infamous Pikablue! Yes, back in the year 1999 when rumors on a young internet world spread about the new monsters for the upcoming pokemon games, people started to guess what the monsters would be called. We only had so many websites back in the day claiming they knew the names of the new pokemon and Marill was right there in the front of the pack especially for the peculiar name it claimed to have. Pikablue was the name! We later found out it was Marill due to either the Pokemon official names or the anime series when it debuted in season 2 during the Orange Islands saga.

Azurill evolves by happiness to Marill, then at level 18 to Azumarill. Very interesting evolution indeed!

Furthermore, Marill (Pikablue) is a very peculiar Pokemon which has multiple evolutionary forms. You'll find Marill in the wild quite easily but will need to breed your Azumarill or Marill while they hold the Sea Essence to obtain the baby form Azurill. Each games seem to carry it so you will not have a problem coming across it. The Pokemon is not the strongest of the water pokemon but they do carry a lot of HP under their body of fat. Speaking of body of fat, some of them carry that as an special ability so make sure you find out information about each ability in order to use them to your advantage.

Misty holding Azurill

The Pokemon is quite easy to level up and can do a lot of damage to your opponents fire pokemon. i don't recommend it for other pokemon unless you use ice moves on dragon types. Be sure you add a move to increase the defense or attack of that pokemon. It may help with the speed but the pokemon is slow from the beginning so you won't have much of an effect, I suggest you build up your defenses and take advantage of the high 300+ HP. So that should do it for now, I hope some of these tips help you on your quest to becoming a pokemon master.




Ads From The Past 082: Vice Project Doom (NES)

By : Luis Zena
Hmm so today's ad is something to enjoy for the whole family. I'm sure this dude is getting a boner from having those boobies against him....Yeah, that player is feeling his prize! I never played this game but it sure looks fun from the screen shots. Then again, Ghostbusters looked fun from the screen shots and you know how that ended....




Ads From The Past 081: Zombie Nation (NES)

By : Luis Zena
With all the lack of updates I decided to give you guys a little treat by giving you more content for your eyes to enjoy! Behold! Zombie Nation for the NES. The game is actually very hard to come by so it's a nice collectors item. I have yet to come across this game but I know what I'll do when I do come face to face with this rare fiend, low ball the seller! HAR HAR HAR



Retro Game of the Week 069: Donkey Kong Country (SNES)

By : Luis Zena

There is a lot to say about this title. Not only did it gave me orgasms back in 1994, but it changed the way I looked at monkeys. According to this game, monkeys kick ass! They sure did when they released this masterpiece called Donkey Kong Country for the SNES. With the enhanced chip it came with the graphics got a big boost to the 32bit level. If you have played the game you will probably wet your pants as you see how beautiful it looks. Then again, with consoles nowadays there is no comparison but back then it was the game to play. If you haven't played this game then stop reading this and go play it so that you can at least get a feel for it.


The game is quite simple. Games don't need to be complicated to be good you know. There have been games that are just way too complicated which in the end, bores us to death. This is your typical platformer game where you jump, throw, and even hit the floor in order to destroy your enemies. In this game, you play as the almighty Donkey Kong and his sidekick Diddy Kong. Now, I'm not sure what their relation is but it feels that Donkey Kong is taking part of a big brother program and therefore is stuck with the Diddy. Either way, the work as a great time and it shows as from experience, these two work the best from the other two duos in later games.


Your main goal in the game is to recover your stolen bananas and you better do it quickly because bananas tend to rot if you don't eat them in the coming days which makes me wonder why would he go after bananas that might be rotten by the time he gets to them. Poor Donkey Kong, he is sure in a very tight situation. Nevertheless, you go around the "country" and defeat each boss to recover your bananas. How dare they steal your food for the hibernation period!

The levels are very well done and takes advantage of your monkey's abilities. There are secrets around every corner which should keep you busy especially if you want to discover them all. Now that will give you something to do for the whole summer. You also won't have trouble listening to the game as the music is beautiful and very nature-like.


Be sure to practice your monkeys a lot because you'll be going through some tougher levels later in the game. The game becomes moderately harder but not hard enough for you to say fuck this! I'm out! Speaking of which, I'm out! Until next week my little retroids!


Ads From The Past 080: Adventures of Lolo 3 (NES)

By : Luis Zena
So here is the final chapter of the Lolo series for the NES. This one is actually my favorite one and as fun as the previous games. Be sure to pay your respects to a great puzzler as Lolo 3 has found a home, right here in Retro Gaming Life.



Ads From The past 079: Boy Caught Masturbating!

By : Luis Zena
This ad sure attracted my attention. This kid looks too excited to be playing a Gameboy in the dark and look at the mom, she is just staring at him....incest anyone? Anyways, I remember this accessory because I actually bought it. It sucks, don't buy it! The thing eats your batteries like if it's a part of a all you can eat buffet and it's the only thing left in the whole buffet. If you see it in the flea market or thrift store you are better off buying it for .50 cents and putting it away. With the Gameboy SP, we don't need this crap. Enough said :)



Ads From The Past 078: We Miss You Funco Inc.

By : Luis Zena
Back in the day this was one of the ways I would buy used games for very reasonable prices. Now, they are long gone...I think they got bought off by Gamestop at some point. Nevertheless, it's always interesting to check out the prices of these games. I suggest you check out the price for Stadium Events.....I almost pissed my pants!


Finds 281: Back in the Game ^_^

By : Luis Zena
It's about time for a lot like this to come into my hands. I gotta say, there is a lot to love from this hunt so lets get started.
Before anyone asks, I paid 75 dollars for the entire lot. That means all the photos on this post so I'm sure they'll be something that will catch your eye. This lot is mostly made up of regular common games for the original Playstation console. I can't keep count how many copies of Need for Speed 3 I have....Anyone wants a freebie?

Here are more Playstation games. These came with no front art work so I had to open them so that I could get a nice view of what the games were.
Here is a game that's going in my collection and I'm not talking about the two loose disc games. Capcom vs SNK Pro is part of my team now!

Here are some PS2 games....The only one I remember that I don't have is the one in the middle. The rest of them I'm either going to sell or give away.

Here are the rest of them. I already have all of these so off to eBay or good friends I suppose.


Here is Resident Evil 4 for the Wii. I already have the Cube and PS2 versions so here we go once more! I might actually pick this one up and play it just for the Spanish cursing.
Here you have a blue Gameboy Pocket and some Pokemon games. I also got my first ever Playstation 3 game even though I don't have a Playstation 3!
Here are some accessories. The Gameshark for the Gameboy on the left and the mighty Super Gameboy on the right. Too bad the Super Gameboy 2 never came to the US but you can always hunt for the import.
And finally, here is a lot of SNES games. A little bit of everything including the classic TMNT 4 game as well as the Donkey Kong Country games. I gotta say, there is nothing that interests me in this lot as I either already have the game or I just don't care for the game.


With such great finds, things are starting to turn around. I'll be sure to come back and bring more joys to your eyes in the future, that's a promise!


Capcom vs SNK Pro(PS1)
Twisted Metal 4 (PS1)
NBA Live 2000 (PS1)
Motorstorm (PS3)
Super Gameboy
Gameshark Pro
Starfox (SNES)
Rival Turf! (SNES)
TMNT 4 Turtles in Time (SNES)
Mortal Kombat 3 (SNES)
Spawn (SNES)
Donkey Kong Country (SNES)
Donkey Kong Country 2 (SNES)
Judge Dredd (SNES)
Gameboy Pocket (Blue)
Tetris (Gameboy)
Pokemon Red (Gameboy)
Pokemon Silver (GBC)
Resident Evil 4 (Wii)
Kingdom Hearts (PS2)
Transformers: Revenge Fallen (Wii)
Need for Speed Most Wanted (PS2)
Marvel Nemesis Rise of the Imperfects (PS2)
NBA Street Vol. 2 (PS2)
True Crime Streets of L.A. (PS2)
Gran Turismo 2 (PS1)
Fear Effect (PS1)
Ridge Racer Type 4 (PS1)
Saga Frontier (PS1)
Final Fantasy 7 (PS1)
Brave Fencer Musashi (PS1)
Gundam Battle Assault 2 (PS1)
WWF War Zone (PS1)
Need for Speed 3 Hot Pursuit (PS1)
Contra Legacy of War (PS1)
The Italian Job (PS1)






Pirate Game of the Week 013: Pokemon Red (FC)

By : Luis Zena
Pokemon Red for the Gameboy changed the way we looked at monsters but Pokemon Red for the Famicom changed the ways we looked at Ash. Not only is this game buggy as hell but they forgot to show the Pokemon you choose for battle therefore always showing Ash in battle as if he was fighting the pokemon. There is no other way to explain monster cruelty when Ash uses his scratch attack on the poor monsters. Putting that aside, this game is actually very interesting and one that any pokemon fan shouldn't ignore.
The game is one of the very obscure releases in China. It was done with the intend to revive the Famicom console which is still alive in many places around the world believe it or not. The game was a very good attempt to port the gameboy title to an 8-bit console. It is very possible but it felt short in many factors like the battles and the music. The scenery also feels left unfinished but I have to hand it to these programmers to be able to accomplish such a task at all. The story is the same as the one in the original as you start off your journey to become a pokemon master. You have your rival and must get all eight badges. This is one of the games you can play through even if you don't know Chinese that is if you have played through the original ones as you will be able to know where to go or who to talk to.

As I mentioned before, Ash beats up pokemon. His pokemon won't obey him so he needs to go out and beat them up himself to gain respect. You are also at a higher level than all other pokemon which will aide you in your quest as you will be the only one to fight all these monsters. The battles are just like the ones in the original. You can attack, use item, run away, and switch pokemon once you have caught more. The music during the battles scenes is a tune of classical music. Yeah, you won't find any pokemon music in this game. I'm guessing they didn't have the will or time to port it like other pirates out there have done so.

The game does have the cities as the original does with the usual pokemart and pokemon center to help you heal yourself and your pokemon. You will also encounter different pokemon in the wild unlike the original one, you may find a legendary pokemon in the wild at one point or another. It's quite bizarre really but you have to think once more that this is a pirate and there are no legit rules!
So that should be it for this game. I have given you enough information so that you can make your decision whether you want to play this "gem" or not. There have been some claims that certain games freeze after a certain point but that's only if you play it on the console. If anything, use save state and be careful of what you do in the game. It's a fun experience overall and anyone will get a kick out of this one. Gotta catch em all pirate style arrrrr!








Ads From The past 077: Rescue of the Princess Blobette (Gameboy)

By : Luis Zena

As mentioned in the ad, this game is the sequel to a Boy in his Blob or at least was made from the creators of A Boy and His Blob. I never heard of this game until I saw this ad so I'm very interested in searching out for it. I know I'll bump into it sometime....you'll see....



Ads From The Past 076: Go! Go! Tank (Gameboy)

By : Luis Zena
I like this ad mainly because of all the craziness going on in it. There is a tank and a fighter plane! I wonder what will happen next? Overall, I'm pleased by this ad although the only thing missing are actual screen shots of the game in action which makes me wonder if the game is any good at all. Where these advertisers so funked up about the game they decided to not show any screen shots of it at all? Guess we'll never know...


Finds 280: Super Tetris (IBM)

By : Luis Zena
So here is a very kewl find I had at the thrift store yesterday. This is Super Tetris for IBM and yes it comes with the big disks! I gotta love those big disks. It's odd though the bottom of the box is open while the top is still sealed. I wonder what the story behind that is but I am glad to say that the game is complete. One day I'll get me one of those big disk drives and play these classic games the way they were meant to be played. Until next time!



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